1 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:48,709 (Male narrator) Love is a drug. A class-A drug. 2 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,130 MRI scans have shown 3 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,209 that the euphoric dopamine rush experienced by lovers 4 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:58,177 lights up the same areas of the brain as cocaine and morphine. 5 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:01,388 This reaction can act as a powerful painkiller, 6 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,978 and oxytocin, known as the cuddle hormone, 7 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,602 can be strong enough to blind us to a lover's flaws. 8 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:09,921 (Female narrator) The continued release of the stress hormones 9 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,686 adrenaline and cortisol 10 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:15,235 can ensure that the newly-smitten cannot eat, cannot sleep, 11 00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:19,702 and cannot think about anything other than the target of their affection. 12 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,180 (Man) Love can strike anyone anywhere, 13 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,557 and often when they least expect it. 14 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,431 But, rather than doing what comes naturally, 15 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:52,359 we and the way we lead our lives in today's busy world 16 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,733 put barriers in the way. 17 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:58,074 Just because nature has given us the basic tools and instincts, 18 00:01:58,201 --> 00:02:02,160 It doesn't mean that everyone is going to be great at it. 19 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:05,456 (Woman) The expectation that we should instinctively know it all 20 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,660 can mean that we don't educate ourselves about sex. 21 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:12,042 This increases the tendency to dodge big relationship issues 22 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:16,004 such as safe sex, bad sex and lack of sex. 23 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:19,045 Like most things in life, to do something well, 24 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,630 you have to learn and practice. 25 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,057 And sex is no exception. 26 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,872 Anyone who has ever experienced 27 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:51,202 the groin-swelling, nipple-hardening intensity of sexual chemistry, 28 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,287 knows that when lust hits hard 29 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:57,337 it overwhelms the mind as furiously as it overpowers the body. 30 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,262 (Man) So why is sex such a powerful drive? 31 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:07,302 Anthropologists, logically enough, put it down to the need for procreation. 32 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,889 Sex is essential to the survival of the human species, 33 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,064 so we're made to crave it. 34 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,231 However, unlike our hairier ancestors, 35 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,562 it's not just about breeding. 36 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,481 Courtesy of contraception, 37 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:23,735 we are uniquely free to explore the excitement of sex 38 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,781 for its own sake. 39 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,614 (Woman) The upsides of such freedom are obvious. 40 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:29,990 We can get to know ourselves 41 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,785 by exploring different sides of our sexuality with our partner 42 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,128 or indeed different partners. 43 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,752 We can experience the heady highs of lust 44 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:41,923 and enjoy orgasms in myriad ways without risking pregnancy 45 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,629 or even commitment. 46 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:50,637 (Man) Great sex means different things to different people. 47 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:55,016 Libidos vary, fantasies vary and motivations vary. 48 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:58,769 Age, upbringing, health and personal circumstances 49 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,947 can all have an effect on people's desires. 50 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:06,778 And an individual's preferences can change from day to day, too. 51 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:10,664 On some occasions, tender kisses and slow sensual caresses 52 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:13,542 might bring passion to the fore. 53 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:16,165 (Woman) Sex can be about lust or love, 54 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,414 temptation or celebration, 55 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:22,839 affection or simply occupying yourselves on a rainy Sunday. 56 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:29,016 No one motivation will guarantee great sex, 57 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:32,603 but it's certainly worth exploring all the options. 58 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:34,605 It's those people who feel comfortable 59 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:38,275 enjoying, understanding and exploring sex 60 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,899 that tend to have the most fun with their clothes off. 61 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:44,527 (Man) Being honest about your own cravings 62 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,406 and willing to explore every inch of your lover's body 63 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,033 in a bid to learn what really turns them on 64 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,374 is an essential part of great sex. 65 00:04:56,171 --> 00:05:00,085 (Woman) Sex, after all, can't just be about your desires. 66 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:03,630 To be really synapse-sparking, it has to be about tending to your own 67 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:07,596 and your partner's individual desires, wants and needs, 68 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:11,592 and finding the glorious intersections between those points. 69 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,828 (Man) Flirting is man's mating ritual. 70 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,288 It's the first way we indicate desire, 71 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,667 and a host of industries are built up around it, 72 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:41,255 from speed-dating to more traditional singles' nights, pubs to clubs. 73 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,174 A plethora of social occasions are little more 74 00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:47,720 than thinly-disguised seduction opportunities. 75 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,466 (Woman) Many people complain that nightclubs become duller 76 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,718 once you stop being single. 77 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:58,098 Which just goes to show how carefully they are designed 78 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,645 to help find a mate. 79 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:04,145 And while you may not necessarily get a chance for a good conversation, 80 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:09,617 You certainly get a good opportunity to scope out potential conquests. 81 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,363 (Man) Flirting gives a subtle indication of interest - 82 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,537 suggesting you are up for forming a deeper connection, 83 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:22,459 but without the risk that comes with a more direct approach. 84 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:26,671 (Woman) Things like direct eye contact and an open smile 85 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:30,129 can act to indicate desire and suggest attraction. 86 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:34,133 (Man) Although some people are innately flirtatious, 87 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,682 it's also a skill that can be learned and developed. 88 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:41,394 (Woman) Practicing flirting helps overcome lack of self-confidence 89 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,233 and the fear of rejection. 90 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,729 The main goal is to spark the imagination of your target. 91 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,112 (Man) One key thing to keep in mind when you're attempting to flirt 92 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,034 is your body language. 93 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,785 Although you don't want to completely invade someone's personal space, 94 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,828 a bit of encroachment sends the signal 95 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:02,211 that there's more than just chatting going on here. 96 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:08,501 (Woman) A welcoming smile, a casual touch of the hand, 97 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,757 or simply listening to someone attentively 98 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,384 will all help indicate your attraction, 99 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,300 though some prefer the more overt approach. 100 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,887 (Man) Leaning towards someone, 101 00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:23,186 which is often necessary in a noisy environment, 102 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,400 is another way to show your interest. 103 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:29,772 The more confident you look, the more attractive you'll seem. 104 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:34,281 (Woman) By relaxing, enjoying yourself, and using those signals skilfully, 105 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:37,575 you can establish whether there's a connection with a potential mate, 106 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:41,162 and, if there is, who knows where it could lead? 107 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,894 (Man) Sex is a core human need, 108 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:12,273 as natural as breathing, sleeping and eating. 109 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,358 And, as with all these needs, 110 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:18,286 the hunger for sex can be a strong motivating force. 111 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:20,535 Our bodies ignite the desire for sex, 112 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,374 and once the craving is there, 113 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:26,621 it's the first step towards the joys that intimacy can bring. 114 00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:33,256 (Woman) Physical attraction is an essential part of desire. 115 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:36,346 Sometimes, just the sight of a muscular pair of arms 116 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:40,263 or a hint of cleavage can activate a person's sex hormones, 117 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:43,604 which then rouse the body and mind into action. 118 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,848 (Man) The trickiest thing about fulfilling desires 119 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:51,445 can be finding the person who really clicks with you sexually. 120 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:55,282 (Woman) We're genetically hotwired to be drawn to partners 121 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,030 who seem to be good breeding stock. 122 00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:02,373 Youth, health and strength are universally appealing. 123 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,995 But more than that, 124 00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:07,290 we're also attracted to people whose pheromones indicate 125 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:10,506 they have a complementary immune system to our own. 126 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:13,800 When we meet a match, 127 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,720 the brain releases a complex cocktail of chemicals 128 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:19,298 that produce a rush of excitement and well being, 129 00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:23,310 bonding us to a lover and making us feel content. 130 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,645 (Man) The body conspires to enhance these chemicals. 131 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:32,690 The pupils dilate, making us look more attractive to a partner. 132 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:36,315 Meanwhile, the blood makes a bee-line to parts of the body 133 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,650 that openly indicate desire. 134 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:43,326 Resulting in external signs such as erect nipples and a hardening penis, 135 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,289 which all serve to arouse a partner if they happen to catch a glimpse, 136 00:09:47,378 --> 00:09:49,836 even through our clothes. 137 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,424 (Woman) While research has shown that 90% of long-term couples 138 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,546 feel they are with the right partner, 139 00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:03,346 over 50% of marriages end in divorce. 140 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:08,014 Still, strong physical attraction and great sex can develop 141 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:12,978 provided the couple bring enough energy and enthusiasm to their intimate lives-. 142 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,529 (Man) Once the feeling of desire kicks in, 143 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:20,905 we use the same kinds of seduction techniques found in the animal kingdom. 144 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:26,040 Grooming, preening, teasing and sometimes territorial behavior. 145 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,959 Simply placing a hand on a lover's arm in public 146 00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:31,545 can indicate to others that they are taken, 147 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:36,509 and kissing in public is a clear indication to others to keep their hands off. 148 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:42,507 (Woman) Sadly, these feelings don't always last. 149 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,474 The most powerful chemicals of attraction 150 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,643 only last for around three months, 151 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:49,763 with almost all of them fading away within 18 months. 152 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:53,938 This is why many couples may feel the magic has faded. 153 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:06,163 (Man) They identify the feeling of love as being the heady mix of chemicals, 154 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:10,455 which is why it's so important to develop more than merely a sexual relationship 155 00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,702 when you first meet a lover. 156 00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,708 But, with continued effort, 157 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:17,837 there's no reason that a long-term loving relationship 158 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:20,552 shouldn't result in even better sex 159 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,218 than the chemical-driven highs of the early days. 160 00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,485 (Woman) It's only when we kiss 161 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:48,030 that chemistry really has the chance to work its magic. 162 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:51,784 With the right partner, the world shrinks down into nothing but the point 163 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:55,997 at which your lips are making contact with your lover's. 164 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,458 As the kiss deepens, the blood rushes into your lips, 165 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:02,837 indicating your desire, increasing sensitivity 166 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,680 and making them firm with arousal. 167 00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:12,892 (Man) That first kiss can be thick with passion. 168 00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:16,016 While it can be tempting to dive in tongue first, 169 00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:19,395 the entire experience becomes so much more enticing 170 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:22,322 if you take a softly-softly approach. 171 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,027 (Woman) Looking into each other's eyes 172 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,534 as you breathe each other's breath, 173 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:33,583 each waiting for the other to make the first move, 174 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:38,501 can create one of the most intoxicating moments of a burgeoning relationship. 175 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,386 (Man) Going in too hard and fast to start with 176 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:51,056 can indicate inexperience or a lack of concern for your partner's enjoyment. 177 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,764 Good things come to those who wait, 178 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,234 and never is this truer than with kissing. 179 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,028 While wet kisses do have their place, 180 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:06,450 an overactive, probing tongue suggests you want to rush to the finishing line 181 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:11,702 rather than enjoying the sensual pleasures that a kiss has to offer. 182 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:19,539 (Woman) Many a relationship has been thwarted by a lack-lustre first kiss. 183 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,915 While technical skill has a part to play, 184 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:24,918 if there isn't that magical zing when your lips first meet, 185 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:28,092 it can indicate there may not be enough physical compatibility 186 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,181 for passion to grow. 187 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,558 (Man) Licking your own lips when your mouth is mere millimeters away 188 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,605 from the object of your affections 189 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:46,824 delivers a sensual tease that will make them yearn to press their lips to yours. 190 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,192 And taking that first kiss slowly, 191 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,696 letting your lips delicately touch your lover's 192 00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:54,160 before pulling away to extend the tease 193 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:58,494 will serve to make the stomach flip and the heart race. 194 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:06,961 (Woman) By teasing and withdrawing, deepening the kiss then pulling away, 195 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:10,634 you help to build the passion slowly and seductively 196 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:14,977 while still leaving your lover in no doubt as to your desires. 197 00:14:18,149 --> 00:14:21,392 (Man) That said, as your relationship progresses, 198 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:25,605 deep, hard kissing can be an intoxicating way to show your lover 199 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,486 that you still desire them as much as you did 200 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:31,659 in the early days of your relationship. 201 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,996 A passionate kiss can be achingly intense. 202 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:38,708 Fueling the desire to let your lips explore your partner's face, 203 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:41,999 neck, shoulders and beyond. 204 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:45,294 It will make your skin tingle and blood pound, 205 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:48,669 and leave your lover filled with anticipation. 206 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,840 (Woman) And kissing isn't just about the lips. 207 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:56,893 Leisurely exploring your lover's neck, earlobes and shoulders 208 00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,061 can be achingly sensual. 209 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:03,817 Many women list their neck as one of their most sensitive erogenous zones, 210 00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:07,154 with delicate neck kissing acting as more of a turn-on 211 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:11,525 than a more obvious approach of caressing the breasts. 212 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:16,576 (Man) While love bites are best avoided after adolescence, 213 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:20,826 gently nibbling and teasing suction can send shivers of anticipation 214 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,582 through your lover's body. 215 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,088 (Woman) Kissing is addictive. 216 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:33,551 It forms a strong, lasting bond between you and your partner. 217 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:37,384 It's a well-known truth that when relationships break down, 218 00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:41,229 it's usually the first kissing that stops even before sex. 219 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:45,563 Think of kissing as the litmus test of how well you're getting along. 220 00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:49,320 (Man) The lips are densely populated with nerves. 221 00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,698 An intense session of kissing ensures those nerves, 222 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,535 combined with those on the tongue and in the mouth, 223 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,454 constantly send messages to the brain. 224 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:01,541 This helps unleash numerous sexy chemicals 225 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:05,712 that make you feel relaxed, aroused, connected to a partner, 226 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,916 and ready to take things to the next level. 227 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:19,055 (Woman) People stay in love when they feel valued, 228 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:22,270 adored and appreciated sexually. 229 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,389 Don't be complacent. 230 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,732 Keep making your partner feel sexy, 231 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:30,232 keep flirting, and don't let the kissing stop. 232 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,031 You never know where it might lead. 233 00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:53,844 (Man) Touch is one of our most basic communication methods. 234 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:57,673 However, only the caress of a lover has the ability 235 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,173 to set your nerves alight 236 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,853 and make your mind explore the infinite possibilities 237 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:08,066 contained within than blissful moment when skin meets skin. 238 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:12,188 (Woman) Even something as simple as your fingertips meeting your lover's 239 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,114 can be charged with erotic promise. 240 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,572 (Man) The average human has an impressive two square metres 241 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,661 of skin surface area. 242 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:24,124 That makes the skin, packed with millions of nerve endings, 243 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,293 your body's largest erogenous zone. 244 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:32,090 All it takes to activate it is a touch from the right person. 245 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:40,431 (Woman) Stroking each other helps you rouse each other's desires, 246 00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:45,019 getting the juices flowing, and making you both eager for more. 247 00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:56,357 (Man) Caressing your partner's body teaches you its landscape. 248 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:59,860 It's only by exploring that you can discover exactly 249 00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,369 what makes your lover tick. 250 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:06,492 Although the breasts and genitals are the obvious erogenous zones, 251 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,374 By allowing your hands to roam more thoroughly, 252 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:13,001 you can discover your lover's unique body blueprint. 253 00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:16,172 (Woman) For some, a finger traced along the spine, 254 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:19,004 back of the knee or the nape of the neck, 255 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:23,555 can produce a strong and erotic charge as more X-rated exploration. 256 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:28,605 For others, delicate kisses to the buttocks, inner ankle or toes 257 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:30,773 are the key to sexual bliss. 258 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:35,855 There's no right or wrong, simply what your lover likes best. 259 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,032 (Man) As with most sexual contact, 260 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,202 caressing a lover builds a feeling of intimacy 261 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:47,374 and releases the cuddle hormone oxytocin. 262 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:51,374 This makes you more receptive to touching and being touched, 263 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:55,373 sending the signal that you can relax into your arousal. 264 00:18:55,468 --> 00:19:00,929 Building these feelings with slow kisses, tender eye gazing and teasing strokes 265 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,890 will only serve to heighten the anticipation. 266 00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:08,929 (Woman) Mixing up the types of caresses and areas being caressed 267 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:11,522 helps keep the skin's nerve endings responsive. 268 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:13,941 And there's no reason you can't touch yourself 269 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:16,562 while your lover is touching you. 270 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,489 Being comfortable enough to masturbate in front of your lover 271 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,733 shows that you trust them and helps them to get to know 272 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,910 the type of touch that you most enjoy. 273 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:32,293 (Man) There's no reason that touch should be limited to your hands. 274 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:36,130 The lips and teeth can deliver exquisite sensations, 275 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:40,468 helping your lover feel worshipped on every inch of their body. 276 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,467 Sensual kisses and whispered sweet nothings 277 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:48,810 will all add to the mood and make you both desperate for more. 278 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:53,765 (Woman) Take time when caressing a lover. 279 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:58,020 Give them the chance for their mind to imagine what's going to come next. 280 00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:00,105 Once someone's brain is stimulated, 281 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,484 it's almost guaranteed that the body will follow. 282 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:11,541 (Man) Women in particular appreciate slow foreplay. 283 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:16,042 While only 25% of women climax from penetrative sex alone, 284 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:19,336 this figure increases to over 75% 285 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,801 if their partner spends more than 20 minutes 286 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:25,342 on touching and other forms of foreplay. 287 00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:31,853 (Woman) Many people fantasize when their lover is caressing them. 288 00:20:32,106 --> 00:20:34,222 This is entirely natural and healthy, 289 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,521 even if you are not fantasizing about your lover. 290 00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:44,107 (Man) Communicating your desire sexually with a partner, 291 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:47,990 whether verbally or through the way you groan and move your body, 292 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:51,490 is one of the easiest ways to get what you want in bed. 293 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:55,209 And continue to communicate whilst you are being pleasured. 294 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:58,709 Simply moaning when your lover caresses you in a way that you enjoy 295 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:02,008 and staying silent when they do something that doesn't hit the spot 296 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:05,803 will help them learn what you most enjoy. 297 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,603 (Woman) Most people simply want their lover to be happy, 298 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:19,188 and you will generally find if you have the confidence to ask for what you want, 299 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,857 you will get what you need. 300 00:21:41,008 --> 00:21:44,842 (Woman) Touching yourself is as important as touching a lover. 301 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:47,587 Until you truly know your own body, 302 00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:49,885 you're unlikely to be able to guide a partner 303 00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:54,762 on how to satisfy your desires and your own personal pleasure zones. 304 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:07,490 (Man) While some people stigmatize masturbation, 305 00:22:07,618 --> 00:22:10,827 it really is entirely normal and healthy. 306 00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:13,655 Playing with your own body helps build confidence 307 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:17,079 and teaches you about your own sexual responses. 308 00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:21,625 (Woman) It's helpful to be aware of your many erogenous zones, 309 00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,706 not just the genitals. 310 00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:25,295 Everyone is different. 311 00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:28,385 There is no right or wrong way to stimulate yourself, 312 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:31,305 so experiment with different methods. 313 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,596 (Man) Men have an arsenal of techniques at their disposal. 314 00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:41,775 They can use a lubed up hand to rub and squeeze the penis and balls. 315 00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:45,941 They can experiment with different grips, using one hand or both, 316 00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:49,236 or even rub their penis against something. 317 00:22:49,326 --> 00:22:51,613 Once you've explored your body alone, 318 00:22:51,912 --> 00:22:53,994 show your partner what you've learnt. 319 00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:58,538 Side by side, masturbation can be one of the best ways to demonstrate 320 00:22:58,669 --> 00:23:01,661 what turns you on to your partner. 321 00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:08,759 (Woman) When it comes to pleasuring your man, 322 00:23:08,762 --> 00:23:12,130 explore every inch of his penis and beyond, 323 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:16,183 stroking him from his balls to the tip of his shaft. 324 00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:19,770 Follow his hands on how best to stimulate his penis. 325 00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,726 If he is not fully erect, 326 00:23:21,817 --> 00:23:25,355 grip the penis and gently pump it with your hand. 327 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,865 You may also want to coat your palm with lubricant 328 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:35,408 and then grasp his shaft and start to move your hand up and down. 329 00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:42,209 (Man) Experiment with different techniques. 330 00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:45,171 Try holding his shaft right underneath the head 331 00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:48,166 between thumb and finger and rubbing it. 332 00:23:48,302 --> 00:23:51,010 Or grasping the shaft firmly in a lubricated hand, 333 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:55,222 with your thumb on his fraenulum and slide your hand up and down. 334 00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:59,977 Or use one hand to stroke his shaft with smooth, even strokes 335 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:04,190 while the other one moves around the head in a circular motion. 336 00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:06,605 (Woman) Watch your lover's body language as you play, 337 00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:09,855 and check whether he likes what you're doing as you go along. 338 00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:12,489 And don't ignore his balls. 339 00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:16,077 Feel free to squeeze and tickle them, but always be gentle, 340 00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:18,617 because a bruised testicle is a sure-fire way 341 00:24:18,749 --> 00:24:21,582 to get a man immediately out of the mood. 342 00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:23,334 (Man) As a man nears orgasm, 343 00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:27,964 his balls will tighten and you'll feel his penis start to pulse. 344 00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:30,382 It'll also probably feel harder. 345 00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:34,212 Maintain what you're doing unless you want to extend the tease, 346 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,923 in which case change the technique. 347 00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:45,268 (Woman) There's a lot to be learned from watching your partner. 348 00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:48,229 Women generally tend to prefer softer, slower 349 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,062 and more manual stimulation than men. 350 00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:54,274 Watch how she softly rubs the shaft of the clitoris. 351 00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:58,362 Going straight for the clitoral tip can be uncomfortable for many women. 352 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:02,491 Look at how she swells with arousal and keeps the pressure light. 353 00:25:03,544 --> 00:25:06,662 (Man) Women tend to prefer the gentler approach to men, 354 00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:11,087 so notice how her fingers circle around her clitoris or tease her labia, 355 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:14,339 rather than pressing hard or rubbing fast. 356 00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:18,013 (Woman) When masturbating in front of a partner, 357 00:25:18,100 --> 00:25:21,388 be honest about what you really do when you're alone. 358 00:25:21,478 --> 00:25:24,391 Although it can be tempting to put on a graphic display, 359 00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:27,348 particularly if you watch a lot of adult films together, 360 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:29,816 there is no point going for lots of penetration 361 00:25:29,903 --> 00:25:32,486 and spreading of your labia or finger licking, 362 00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:36,323 if what you really enjoy is a light circling of your clitoris. 363 00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:38,909 Your partner can only learn from what you are doing, 364 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,575 if you show what you genuinely enjoy. 365 00:25:41,874 --> 00:25:46,163 It'll be even more of a turn-on if he can see you getting wetter as you play. 366 00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:49,666 (Man) It generally takes a woman longer to climax than a man. 367 00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:52,836 So, if you're going for a mutual masturbation session, 368 00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:56,632 it's a good idea to apply the adage: "ladies first". 369 00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:58,929 That way, you'll both be satisfied 370 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:02,892 and interested in what each other is doing throughout. 371 00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:04,431 Watching your lover masturbate 372 00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:07,267 and then joining in as she gets closer to orgasm, 373 00:26:07,357 --> 00:26:10,315 using all the new tricks you have learned from observing, 374 00:26:10,319 --> 00:26:15,359 can be one of the sexiest show-and-tell sessions you will ever experience. 375 00:26:16,742 --> 00:26:20,201 (Man) It helps if you let your lover show you by guiding your hand 376 00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:22,821 how best she likes to be stimulated. 377 00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:27,917 Feel around her G-spot, a few inches inside on the upper wall. 378 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,038 You'll know when you've found it when you find a area that swells 379 00:26:31,173 --> 00:26:34,336 when you stroke it with a come-hither motion. 380 00:26:34,468 --> 00:26:38,678 (Woman) G-spot stimulation can be the pathway to female ejaculation. 381 00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:42,590 (Man) Don't be afraid to show your lover 382 00:26:42,726 --> 00:26:46,765 how much you enjoy watching her masturbate by touching yourself. 383 00:26:46,772 --> 00:26:49,125 (Woman) And many women find watching their partner masturbate 384 00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:53,985 To be a turn-on too, so you may spur her nearer to her orgasm. 385 00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:56,195 (Man) Conversely, most men are aroused 386 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:59,490 by watching a woman lose herself in sensual pleasure. 387 00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:03,365 So don't be afraid to let your growing excitement show. 388 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:07,619 It's more than likely to make your lover desperately want to join in. 389 00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:09,708 (Woman) The man should add more fingers 390 00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:12,127 as he feels his lover getting more aroused, 391 00:27:12,256 --> 00:27:16,170 and use his other hand to caress her clitoris, neck or nipples 392 00:27:16,260 --> 00:27:18,467 or to stroke himself. 393 00:27:48,709 --> 00:27:52,327 (Man) Frontage, or rubbing your genitals against your partners, 394 00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:54,583 can be a wonderfully stimulating twist 395 00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:57,503 on more traditional methods of masturbation. 396 00:27:57,593 --> 00:28:00,301 Just remember that you still need to use a condom 397 00:28:00,554 --> 00:28:04,673 unless you know you're safe from STD's and pregnancy. 398 00:28:04,808 --> 00:28:08,426 (Woman) When orgasm hits, don't be afraid to let it show. 399 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:11,638 Not only does it let your partner know they should stop what they are doing, 400 00:28:11,732 --> 00:28:14,520 to avoid touching over-sensitized areas, 401 00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:17,398 it can also act as an incredible turn-on for them, 402 00:28:17,487 --> 00:28:20,024 spurring them towards their own climax. 403 00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:31,286 (Man) Masturbating a partner isn't just great foreplay, 404 00:28:31,418 --> 00:28:36,333 it can make a refreshing change from, or a wonderfully sensual alternative to, 405 00:28:36,465 --> 00:28:38,752 full-on sexual intercourse. 406 00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:03,440 (Man) Just about every animal on the planet uses licking to convey affection. 407 00:29:03,533 --> 00:29:06,901 But humans have taken it to a whole new level. 408 00:29:07,246 --> 00:29:11,410 There are numerous ways in which people use their tongue on a lover. 409 00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:16,331 Delicate licking, sensual lapping, and tracing outlines on a lover's skin, 410 00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,287 all have their place. 411 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:22,542 And licking isn't just reserved for the most obvious body parts. 412 00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:25,510 Exploring your lover's entire body with your tongue 413 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,510 can make them tingle all over. 414 00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:39,355 (Woman) Going from a standing start straight to oral can be very sexy. 415 00:29:39,611 --> 00:29:42,945 But if you make a lover crave your tongue on their most intimate parts, 416 00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:47,650 they're more likely to be aroused and eager when you finally get down there. 417 00:29:54,543 --> 00:29:56,750 (Man) The longer you extend the tease, 418 00:29:56,878 --> 00:30:01,122 the more powerful a lover's eventual orgasm is likely to be. 419 00:30:01,216 --> 00:30:05,756 Whether that happens with your mouth or fingers or full-blown sex. 420 00:30:08,181 --> 00:30:12,266 (Woman) Many women find oral sex the easiest way to climax. 421 00:30:12,394 --> 00:30:15,182 As the clitoris is much richer in nerves than the penis, 422 00:30:15,314 --> 00:30:18,477 start gently rather than sucking too hard. 423 00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:26,818 (Man) You should be sensitive enough to feel 424 00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:30,193 whether she wants your licks stronger or faster. 425 00:30:30,329 --> 00:30:34,197 Even simply breathing on the clitoris can be incredibly arousing, 426 00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:39,499 building her desire and making her ache to feel your mouth around her. 427 00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:43,502 Try using the flat side of your tongue rather than the tip 428 00:30:43,592 --> 00:30:46,459 as some women prefer a big ice-cream lick 429 00:30:46,553 --> 00:30:50,091 to pressure of the point of the tongue on the clitoris. 430 00:30:55,187 --> 00:31:00,182 (Woman) The golden rule is not to see it as a race to get her to a finishing line, 431 00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:04,186 but to delight in losing yourself in a joyous activity. 432 00:31:04,321 --> 00:31:07,609 Some women can feel self-conscious about receiving oral sex, 433 00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:09,986 but if you show that you're not only willing 434 00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:12,360 but actively want to take your time, 435 00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:15,154 it will reassure her that she smells and tastes great, 436 00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:18,115 and can relax into enjoying herself too. 437 00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:22,040 And with her relaxation can come great orgasms. 438 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:35,720 (Man) As a woman nears orgasm, her labia and clitoris will swell 439 00:31:35,811 --> 00:31:37,893 and the wetness will increase. 440 00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:40,854 At this point, you can add a finger or two. 441 00:31:40,982 --> 00:31:44,691 Or try more intense contact using the tip of your tongue. 442 00:31:44,820 --> 00:31:47,061 But again, build up slowly, 443 00:31:47,197 --> 00:31:50,940 as otherwise she may lose the moment entirely-. 444 00:31:53,328 --> 00:31:55,660 (Woman) Vary how you begin oral sex. 445 00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:58,489 Putting your tongue on the shaft of a hardening penis 446 00:31:58,583 --> 00:32:02,747 or engorged clitoris through underwear can be wildly erotic-. 447 00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:06,918 Try lapping at the pubic mound, the inner thighs, the balls, 448 00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:11,419 and occasionally let your tongue snake inside the underwear-. 449 00:32:12,973 --> 00:32:15,556 (Man) While there are numerous fellatio techniques, 450 00:32:15,684 --> 00:32:18,676 they fall into two basic approaches. 451 00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:22,559 For a slow and gentle tease, or as a wonderful warm-up, 452 00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:25,524 lick the length of the penis from balls to shaft 453 00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:31,071 before gently flicking your tongue over the generally more sensitive head. 454 00:32:31,074 --> 00:32:33,111 To extend the anticipation, 455 00:32:33,201 --> 00:32:36,114 move back from his glands to the base of his penis 456 00:32:36,246 --> 00:32:37,657 and work your way up. 457 00:32:37,914 --> 00:32:40,702 Or from side to side, or to his inner thighs, 458 00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:42,700 before moving back up. 459 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,247 (Woman) Try playing your hair over his shaft 460 00:32:47,424 --> 00:32:49,085 as you delicately lick the tip, 461 00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:52,794 softly sucking the skin between his balls into your mouth. 462 00:32:52,929 --> 00:32:55,967 Or even sucking his balls entirely into your mouth. 463 00:32:56,099 --> 00:32:59,888 Do take it carefully though, as the balls can be incredibly sensitive 464 00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:02,595 and not all men like them being played with. 465 00:33:05,025 --> 00:33:07,517 (Man) Alternatively, or as things heat up, 466 00:33:07,611 --> 00:33:11,275 go for more intense sucking, moving your head up and down, 467 00:33:11,406 --> 00:33:14,740 so that he can watch his penis vanishing into your mouth. 468 00:33:14,743 --> 00:33:18,737 Many men find it extra hot to make eye contact at this point, 469 00:33:18,747 --> 00:33:22,240 so he can see how much you love what you're doing. 470 00:33:24,169 --> 00:33:27,457 (Woman) Make sure you keep your teeth guarded behind your lips, 471 00:33:27,589 --> 00:33:29,751 and don't be afraid to set the pace. 472 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,796 If he thrusts too hard or at the wrong moment, 473 00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:35,256 it can set off the gag reflex. 474 00:33:35,388 --> 00:33:38,506 Keeping one hand on the penis as you perform oral sex 475 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,262 will also help you stay in control. 476 00:33:43,146 --> 00:33:47,856 What you are aiming for is creating a warm, wet, tight combination 477 00:33:47,984 --> 00:33:52,103 that emulates the feeling of him sliding in and out of your vagina. 478 00:33:53,615 --> 00:33:57,904 (Man) Masturbating the shaft or softly tugging or cupping the balls, 479 00:33:58,203 --> 00:34:01,321 or using your fingers to put some pressure on his perineum, 480 00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:03,743 that area between his balls and anus, 481 00:34:03,750 --> 00:34:05,957 can send him over the edge. 482 00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:07,872 You may want to get an all-clear from him 483 00:34:08,004 --> 00:34:10,962 before you go sticking your finger in his anus, however. 484 00:34:11,091 --> 00:34:16,177 Some men love it, but others will not take such an intrusion kindly. 485 00:34:21,518 --> 00:34:24,385 (Woman) If it's the taste of semen that you really don't like, 486 00:34:24,521 --> 00:34:26,387 take the penis at the back of your throat 487 00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:28,810 to bypass the majority of your taste buds, 488 00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:31,232 and if you're squeamish about swallowing, 489 00:34:31,570 --> 00:34:32,935 withdraw your mouth altogether, 490 00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,859 and masturbate him to orgasm. 491 00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:44,530 (Man) Different people prefer different techniques, 492 00:34:44,624 --> 00:34:47,207 so read your lover's body language. 493 00:34:47,377 --> 00:34:49,459 Don't be shy about asking questions, 494 00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:52,455 even when you're in the middle of pleasuring your partner. 495 00:34:52,591 --> 00:34:56,209 And, above all, focus on enjoying the sensual pleasure 496 00:34:56,553 --> 00:35:00,763 of having your lover's most intimate parts in your mouth. 497 00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:04,683 Some people get just as aroused by giving oral sex as receiving it, 498 00:35:04,936 --> 00:35:09,555 and you may become one of them if you get your mind into the right state. 499 00:35:09,649 --> 00:35:14,439 It really can be every bit as good to give as to receive. 500 00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:36,715 (Woman) Whilst straight-forward sex is perfectly wonderful in itself, 501 00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:40,677 many people also enjoy some form of kink or fetish. 502 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:43,467 For some, it may simply be the exhibitionist thrill 503 00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:46,259 of watching a lover strip or masturbate. 504 00:35:46,394 --> 00:35:49,477 Being able to observe a partner in such an intimate way 505 00:35:49,773 --> 00:35:52,515 and know that they're indulging for your gratification 506 00:35:52,609 --> 00:35:56,102 can deliver an intense sexual charge. 507 00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:12,959 (Man) Others find that sexy lingerie adds an extra frisson to sex 508 00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:15,169 that nothing else can match. 509 00:36:15,256 --> 00:36:17,998 Dressing up and undressing for seduction 510 00:36:18,093 --> 00:36:21,006 can add a sense of naughtiness and occasion, 511 00:36:21,137 --> 00:36:23,925 particularly if a lover is appreciative of the effort 512 00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:26,640 and lavishes you with compliments. 513 00:36:26,768 --> 00:36:28,805 Stockings and suspenders are popular, 514 00:36:28,895 --> 00:36:30,932 and giving a discreet flash of stocking top 515 00:36:31,022 --> 00:36:33,102 when you're getting out of a car on the way to dinner 516 00:36:33,191 --> 00:36:36,809 can make a man's mind wander all night. 517 00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:41,238 Even simply seeing a pair of stockings being slowly unfurled up a leg 518 00:36:41,324 --> 00:36:44,362 can be enough to create a spark of desire. 519 00:37:06,141 --> 00:37:08,678 (Woman) And of course, getting kinky isn't simply 520 00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:11,351 about the way you dress or undress. 521 00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:30,864 Spanking is one of the most common fetishes, 522 00:37:30,999 --> 00:37:34,742 often forming part of sex in which one partner takes a dominant role, 523 00:37:35,003 --> 00:37:37,290 and the other a submissive one. 524 00:37:37,422 --> 00:37:42,007 With this scenario, even something as innocuous as tickling can be a turn-on. 525 00:38:04,032 --> 00:38:07,024 (Man) While most people seek out the pleasure of touch, 526 00:38:07,327 --> 00:38:11,696 the sensation of pain which also releases a flood of feel-good endorphins 527 00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:13,952 can be just as energizing. 528 00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:16,909 This is exacerbated if the spanking starts slowly 529 00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:19,582 and gradually becomes more intense. 530 00:38:38,107 --> 00:38:40,974 (Woman) If a long, hardish spanking is administered, 531 00:38:41,069 --> 00:38:43,356 it is essential to comfort your lover afterwards, 532 00:38:43,446 --> 00:38:48,156 otherwise they may suffer a come-down from their body's own natural high-. 533 00:38:48,243 --> 00:38:52,487 And teaming pleasure with pain can really increase the sensations. 534 00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:06,083 (Man) Even if a kink doesn't do it for you, 535 00:39:06,094 --> 00:39:08,506 by indulging your lover, you may well find yourself 536 00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:12,506 bringing a previously unknown spark into your relationship. 537 00:39:12,642 --> 00:39:15,475 Fetishes can be based deep in the subconscious, 538 00:39:15,478 --> 00:39:17,765 and connect you to your lover's sexual psyche 539 00:39:17,897 --> 00:39:20,685 in a way that non-kinky sex doesn't. 540 00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:22,140 And you never know, 541 00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:26,027 just because a particular kink or quirk has never appealed to you, 542 00:39:26,114 --> 00:39:29,903 it doesn't mean you won't enjoy it if you actually try it. 543 00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:36,329 (Woman) You can take things to another level 544 00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:39,119 by bringing kinky role-play into the occasion. 545 00:39:39,252 --> 00:39:42,210 Many role-play scenarios involve a power play: 546 00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:44,917 doctors and nurses, escorts and clients, 547 00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:47,040 seducers and virgins. 548 00:39:47,135 --> 00:39:51,254 And you don't necessarily have to dress up or use specialist props. 549 00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:54,965 Simply using your imagination can be all that's required 550 00:39:55,101 --> 00:39:59,095 to transport you to a castle dungeon or an Arabian harem. 551 00:40:01,524 --> 00:40:04,983 (Man) Bondage, domination, submission and masochism, 552 00:40:05,236 --> 00:40:07,398 collectively known as BDSM, 553 00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:11,194 allow exploration of power roles within relationships. 554 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,157 Some people get a thrill out of relinquishing 555 00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:15,326 or seizing control in the bedroom, 556 00:40:15,663 --> 00:40:19,247 particularly if this runs contrary to their position in everyday life. 557 00:40:19,334 --> 00:40:23,248 Household props can easily be adapted to kinky purposes. 558 00:40:23,379 --> 00:40:27,168 Stockings or silk scarves can become bondage ropes. 559 00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:31,794 (Woman) By trying both dominant and submissive roles with a lover, 560 00:40:31,888 --> 00:40:34,971 you may tap into previously unacknowledged desires. 561 00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:38,558 However, before engaging in any fantasy or role-play, 562 00:40:38,728 --> 00:40:41,186 make sure boundaries are clearly defined. 563 00:40:41,189 --> 00:40:46,025 What may seem entertaining in fantasy can be too extreme in reality, 564 00:40:46,110 --> 00:40:48,442 and levels that you think you'd never step beyond 565 00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:52,940 may become surpassable when you're in the heat of the moment. 566 00:40:53,201 --> 00:40:54,942 (Man) Before you start playing, 567 00:40:55,036 --> 00:40:57,869 it's essential to set a safe word which means stop 568 00:40:57,997 --> 00:41:02,036 and that your partner promises faithfully to adhere to. 569 00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:06,791 Many people enjoy using the words 'no' or 'stop' as part of the role-play, 570 00:41:06,923 --> 00:41:08,834 so choose a word such as 'red' 571 00:41:08,967 --> 00:41:12,085 which you are less likely to use during the sex-play. 572 00:41:17,433 --> 00:41:20,391 (Woman) Some couples draw inspiration for their fantasy play 573 00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:22,139 from X-rated material: 574 00:41:22,397 --> 00:41:25,185 reading erotic stories, looking at sexy magazines 575 00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:27,102 and watching adult videos. 576 00:41:27,235 --> 00:41:30,353 Most men have looked at some form of pornography in their lives, 577 00:41:30,446 --> 00:41:33,438 although figures for women are on the increase too. 578 00:41:35,535 --> 00:41:37,321 (Man) Producing home porn, 579 00:41:37,453 --> 00:41:40,616 whether in the form of pictures or videos of oneselfes, 580 00:41:40,748 --> 00:41:43,911 has seen a massive boost in the digital age. 581 00:41:44,002 --> 00:41:47,916 While you should never take photos or videos of anyone without their consent, 582 00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:51,795 role-playing photographer and model can be a hot fantasy. 583 00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:55,297 And you can always delete any images you take afterwards. 584 00:41:55,388 --> 00:41:59,177 You may find it safest to ensure that neither of you is identifiable 585 00:41:59,183 --> 00:42:03,268 in any home porn make, should anyone find the footage. 586 00:42:05,773 --> 00:42:08,014 (Woman) Unless you're happy to be exhibitionists, 587 00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:10,017 keep your faces out of shot, 588 00:42:10,111 --> 00:42:13,820 and also ensure you hide any unique piercings or tattoos 589 00:42:13,823 --> 00:42:16,531 to keep your identity properly protected. 590 00:42:16,701 --> 00:42:19,910 That goes doubly so if you intend to post your footage online, 591 00:42:20,038 --> 00:42:24,202 on the user-generated adult websites that are now in abundance. 592 00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:35,505 (Man) Sometimes a perfectly passable sex life 593 00:42:35,636 --> 00:42:39,721 just needs a little tweak to move it into the mind-blowing category. 594 00:42:55,865 --> 00:42:58,573 (Woman) In the end, good old romance can often be best 595 00:42:58,576 --> 00:43:00,908 for maintaining the spice in a relationship. 596 00:43:00,995 --> 00:43:06,035 Affection and appreciation are often the choicest aphrodisiacs in life. 597 00:43:24,352 --> 00:43:27,094 (Man) Sex toys have been around for thousands of years. 598 00:43:27,188 --> 00:43:32,354 Early dildos, known as Olisbos, were sold in Greece around 5,000 BC. 599 00:43:32,652 --> 00:43:34,939 Around the same time, Ben Wa balls, 600 00:43:35,029 --> 00:43:38,613 still used as vaginal toning devices and stimulators to this day, 601 00:43:38,699 --> 00:43:41,361 were created in southeast Asia. 602 00:43:41,452 --> 00:43:43,693 (Woman) Olive oil was mentioned as a sexual lubricant 603 00:43:43,788 --> 00:43:46,746 in texts dating back to 35080. 604 00:43:46,874 --> 00:43:49,582 Although it shouldn't actually be used as a lubricant 605 00:43:49,669 --> 00:43:51,876 as it can cause condoms to break. 606 00:43:53,673 --> 00:43:58,133 (Man) And cock rings, once made from the dried eyelids of goats, 607 00:43:58,261 --> 00:44:01,219 were used back in 1,200 AD. 608 00:44:01,222 --> 00:44:05,181 By 1600, these evolved into carved ivory rings, 609 00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:09,394 some with studs used to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse. 610 00:44:10,982 --> 00:44:13,815 (Woman) Vibrators were invented in Victorian times 611 00:44:13,943 --> 00:44:17,527 to provide orgasms as a medical cure for hysteria or womb disease 612 00:44:17,655 --> 00:44:19,237 in female patients. 613 00:44:19,323 --> 00:44:21,405 The machines were administered by doctors 614 00:44:21,659 --> 00:44:23,991 who previously had developed tired wrists 615 00:44:23,995 --> 00:44:27,329 from having to cure this hysteria manually. 616 00:44:27,415 --> 00:44:30,373 (Man) Nowadays sex toys are no longer taboo. 617 00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:34,665 At a sex emporium, you can pick up clitoral stimulators, dildos and vibrators 618 00:44:34,755 --> 00:44:36,917 of every shape and size. 619 00:44:39,427 --> 00:44:43,796 The choice in men's toys has also grown significantly over the last decade, 620 00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:46,047 most notably with the arrival of a masturbator 621 00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:48,425 looking like an ordinary torch. 622 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,477 (Woman) Around half of all women in the West 623 00:44:54,567 --> 00:44:56,308 have a sex toy of some kind, 624 00:44:56,444 --> 00:44:59,857 and almost 80% of them use them within relationships. 625 00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:04,449 You can use them to stimulate nipples, a clitoris, vagina or anus, 626 00:45:04,577 --> 00:45:07,990 or indeed the penis, balls or prostate. 627 00:45:10,458 --> 00:45:14,167 (Man) 80 don't see toys as something purely to use on a woman. 628 00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:17,629 Even toys such as the Rabbit, designed with women in mind, 629 00:45:17,715 --> 00:45:19,581 can be used on the man. 630 00:45:19,717 --> 00:45:22,505 Try teaming it with oral or manual stimulation. 631 00:45:22,637 --> 00:45:26,676 If it doesn't float his boat, you can simply put the toy aside. 632 00:45:26,807 --> 00:45:31,893 If it works for him, you can both enjoy more explosive climaxes. 633 00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:37,099 (Woman) Women, though, often need more stimulation than men 634 00:45:37,109 --> 00:45:38,520 to attain orgasm, 635 00:45:38,527 --> 00:45:43,237 and what man is capable of 6,000 revs per minute and at the touch of a button? 636 00:45:44,784 --> 00:45:47,742 Many women who do use sex toys on a regular basis 637 00:45:47,870 --> 00:45:51,909 experience more frequent orgasms, have increased sexual confidence 638 00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:55,826 and report greater satisfaction with their partners. 639 00:45:56,796 --> 00:46:00,505 (Man) This means that rather than being a threat to your relationship, 640 00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:04,297 vibrators and other sex toys can be positively beneficial. 641 00:46:09,517 --> 00:46:11,679 (Woman) When it comes to introducing your partner 642 00:46:11,811 --> 00:46:14,018 to the concept of using sex toys together, 643 00:46:14,313 --> 00:46:15,895 judge it carefully. 644 00:46:15,898 --> 00:46:19,516 Some couples may be open enough to say, "Fancy giving this a go?" 645 00:46:19,610 --> 00:46:22,352 when others could be intimidated. 646 00:46:22,613 --> 00:46:26,026 (Man) Not so long ago, the idea of a woman using a strap-on dildo 647 00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:29,405 to penetrate her male partner would have been shocking. 648 00:46:29,495 --> 00:46:33,409 But now you can buy backdoor toys, G-spot and prostate massage's 649 00:46:33,499 --> 00:46:37,538 to help couples reach the parts that never see the light of day. 650 00:46:46,887 --> 00:46:50,130 (Woman) Some toys nowadays are designed for double penetration. 651 00:46:50,266 --> 00:46:52,473 With enough foreplay and plenty of lube, 652 00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:56,269 it's amazing the pleasures that such double stimulation can bring. 653 00:46:56,355 --> 00:46:59,473 Then there's the extra dimension of adding to sexual fantasy. 654 00:46:59,567 --> 00:47:01,274 You can imagine group sex 655 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:05,695 without exposing yourself to the emotional risks of actually trying it. 656 00:47:09,618 --> 00:47:12,235 (Man) Remember, though, the key word is 'play'. 657 00:47:12,371 --> 00:47:15,989 So, whatever toys you choose to incorporate into your sex life, 658 00:47:16,125 --> 00:47:19,163 be sure that the end result is fun. 659 00:47:34,268 --> 00:47:38,011 (Woman) Though many couples stick to two or three favourite positions 660 00:47:38,022 --> 00:47:39,387 throughout their lives, 661 00:47:39,523 --> 00:47:41,389 there are actually hundreds of positions 662 00:47:41,484 --> 00:47:44,397 that people can use to have sexual intercourse. 663 00:47:44,528 --> 00:47:47,316 On the internet, you can find step-by-step guides 664 00:47:47,448 --> 00:47:50,941 to doing everything from the 'Pile-driver' to the 'Pinwheel'. 665 00:47:56,165 --> 00:47:59,408 (Man) But there are really just five main approaches to consider 666 00:47:59,668 --> 00:48:02,205 when deciding which way to do it. 667 00:48:02,296 --> 00:48:04,913 Man on top. 668 00:48:05,132 --> 00:48:07,965 Woman on top. 669 00:48:08,052 --> 00:48:10,510 From behind. 670 00:48:10,596 --> 00:48:12,178 Sitting. 671 00:48:13,641 --> 00:48:15,302 And standing. 672 00:48:16,352 --> 00:48:18,764 (Woman) Then there's always anal sex to consider as well, 673 00:48:18,896 --> 00:48:20,978 but we'll get to that later. 674 00:48:29,198 --> 00:48:32,316 (Man) Man on top, also known as the 'missionary position', 675 00:48:32,451 --> 00:48:35,284 is often considered old-fashioned or dull. 676 00:48:35,413 --> 00:48:38,201 But it actually offers a woman a greater chance of orgasm 677 00:48:38,332 --> 00:48:40,790 because it allows for great clitoral stimulation, 678 00:48:40,876 --> 00:48:43,459 particularly if you don't rush it. 679 00:48:43,546 --> 00:48:46,880 This position is also conducive to passionate eye contact 680 00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:49,874 breast fondling and, if the woman bends her knees 681 00:48:49,969 --> 00:48:51,801 or wraps her legs around her partner, 682 00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:55,217 deeper penetration and G-spot stimulation. 683 00:48:57,518 --> 00:49:01,261 (Woman) The woman has easy access to caress the man's chest and nipples, 684 00:49:01,397 --> 00:49:03,980 should they be an erogenous zone for him. 685 00:49:04,275 --> 00:49:08,940 She can also easily grip his shoulders and rake her nails down his back, 686 00:49:09,071 --> 00:49:13,110 and of course there's lots of scope for both of you to kiss. 687 00:49:14,952 --> 00:49:17,819 (Man) Missionary position is a great starting-off point, 688 00:49:17,913 --> 00:49:21,326 that lends itself to both sensual and animalistic sex. 689 00:49:21,459 --> 00:49:24,827 And there's nothing to stop you moving from slow and teasing missionary 690 00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:27,791 to hard and fast rutting in one session. 691 00:49:37,349 --> 00:49:40,091 (Woman) Rotating the hips in a figure of eight motion, 692 00:49:40,227 --> 00:49:43,390 moving your bodies closer together or further away, 693 00:49:43,522 --> 00:49:46,640 or adding your own unique twist to missionary sex, 694 00:49:46,734 --> 00:49:48,600 such as this reverse doggie, 695 00:49:48,694 --> 00:49:53,689 can all increase sensitivity and allow deeper penetration. 696 00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:56,524 (Man) There's a reason it's one of the most popular sexual positions 697 00:49:56,702 --> 00:49:59,114 with men and women alike. 698 00:49:59,246 --> 00:50:02,113 (Woman) The next option to consider is woman on top. 699 00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:04,407 This position allows the woman to be more in control 700 00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:08,336 of the pace and power of thrusting and the depth of penetration. 701 00:50:10,716 --> 00:50:14,459 She can also be more in charge of tending to the clitoris, 702 00:50:14,470 --> 00:50:17,758 either by actively grinding it against her partner's pubic bone, 703 00:50:17,890 --> 00:50:20,097 or by playing with it herself. 704 00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:22,801 The man has easy access to the woman's breasts, 705 00:50:22,811 --> 00:50:25,269 and again, it's easy to kiss. 706 00:50:26,190 --> 00:50:29,057 (Man) As with missionary, there are myriad variations 707 00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:30,604 of woman-on-top sex. 708 00:50:30,861 --> 00:50:32,522 It can be a seductive dance 709 00:50:32,613 --> 00:50:35,150 with a woman grinding her hips against her partner, 710 00:50:35,324 --> 00:50:39,864 looking into his eyes as the pair rock to mutual bliss. 711 00:50:40,162 --> 00:50:42,950 Or it can be a passionate and dominant exchange 712 00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,782 in which the woman hungrily takes what she wants 713 00:50:45,793 --> 00:50:48,285 from a willingly supportive man. 714 00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:51,204 (Woman) For an intriguing twist on woman on top, 715 00:50:51,382 --> 00:50:54,841 there is always the seated position with the man sitting on a chair 716 00:50:54,969 --> 00:50:58,507 or on the edge of a bed, with his partner straddling him. 717 00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:04,134 (Man) This is a great option 718 00:51:04,311 --> 00:51:07,349 if you prefer your woman-on-top approach to be more mutual, 719 00:51:07,439 --> 00:51:10,807 as it's easier for the man to simply drop the woman onto her back, 720 00:51:10,901 --> 00:51:15,316 should he decide he wants to take a more dominant role in the proceedings. 721 00:51:15,406 --> 00:51:19,115 (Woman) Woman-on-top sex can be slow and tender 722 00:51:19,243 --> 00:51:20,950 or hard and fast, 723 00:51:21,078 --> 00:51:23,695 and this is the ideal position if a man is well-endowed, 724 00:51:23,789 --> 00:51:27,657 as it allows the woman to decide exactly how much she is going to take 725 00:51:27,751 --> 00:51:30,368 and how hard she is going to take it. 726 00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:36,208 (Man) It allows the man to enjoy sex a more relaxed way, 727 00:51:36,552 --> 00:51:39,214 all that thrusting can be hell on the thigh muscles, 728 00:51:39,346 --> 00:51:42,384 though it still allows him enough freedom to thrust upwards 729 00:51:42,474 --> 00:51:45,182 should he crave deeper penetration. 730 00:51:46,687 --> 00:51:48,269 (Woman) As with the missionary position, 731 00:51:48,397 --> 00:51:51,105 woman-on-top gives plenty of clitoral stimulation, 732 00:51:51,191 --> 00:51:54,354 making it a great position for mutual orgasm. 733 00:51:59,199 --> 00:52:01,907 (Man) Sex from behind, or doggie style, 734 00:52:01,910 --> 00:52:05,904 allows for the deepest penetration and G-spot stimulation. 735 00:52:05,998 --> 00:52:09,582 The man has easy access to kiss and nibble the neck and shoulders, 736 00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:13,411 caress the back or stroke the clitoris during sex. 737 00:52:13,547 --> 00:52:16,289 He can cup the woman's breasts, kiss her body, 738 00:52:16,425 --> 00:52:20,589 and generally lavish almost every inch of her with affection. 739 00:52:22,765 --> 00:52:24,506 (Woman) Many woman enjoy doggie style 740 00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:27,308 because it makes even the smallest man feel larger, 741 00:52:27,645 --> 00:52:29,977 and the woman can deepen penetration even further 742 00:52:30,105 --> 00:52:33,268 by pressing backwards onto the man's penis. 743 00:52:34,401 --> 00:52:37,769 (Man) Although it gets low scores for intimacy and clitoral contact, 744 00:52:38,030 --> 00:52:40,897 doggie style sex usually receives high marks from guys 745 00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,191 because it allows for aggressive thrusting 746 00:52:43,327 --> 00:52:47,537 and it has a kind of raw animalistic feel to it. 747 00:52:47,665 --> 00:52:49,827 (Woman) But there's no reason that sex from behind 748 00:52:49,833 --> 00:52:52,040 always has to have the man in control. 749 00:52:52,127 --> 00:52:54,994 Reverse cowgirl lets the woman set the pace, 750 00:52:55,005 --> 00:52:58,498 whilst allowing her easy access to caress her own clitoris, 751 00:52:58,592 --> 00:53:03,837 and gives the man a graphic view that may well speed his climax. 752 00:53:16,276 --> 00:53:20,065 (Man) At quite a wild end of the scale can be standing sex, 753 00:53:20,072 --> 00:53:23,690 which can have a desperate "must-have-you-now" urgency to it. 754 00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:26,534 This makes it a great option for quickies. 755 00:53:26,662 --> 00:53:29,279 Whether it's from behind or facing each other, 756 00:53:29,456 --> 00:53:34,451 standing-up sex can offer a needy, urgent compulsion to the act. 757 00:53:35,963 --> 00:53:38,921 (Woman) There are few sexier ways to start an evening than with a quickie 758 00:53:39,007 --> 00:53:41,965 once you're all dressed up and ready for a night on the town 759 00:53:42,052 --> 00:53:45,170 when you really should be on your way. 760 00:53:51,562 --> 00:53:53,644 (Man) And then there's anal sex. 761 00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:57,975 Anal sex has gone from being a taboo act that men begged their partners to try, 762 00:53:58,277 --> 00:54:00,518 to becoming increasingly popular. 763 00:54:00,654 --> 00:54:02,110 Of course, good anal sex, 764 00:54:02,197 --> 00:54:04,905 meaning anal sex that is pleasurable and painless, 765 00:54:04,908 --> 00:54:06,990 is not something that happens overnight. 766 00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:12,114 It can take weeks or even months for a partner to open up and relax. 767 00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:23,549 (Woman) Regardless of position, 768 00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:27,261 ultimate sex is all about finding out what works for both of you. 769 00:54:27,556 --> 00:54:29,046 Don't be afraid to experiment, 770 00:54:29,141 --> 00:54:33,351 and accept that making mistakes and even laughing at various faux pas 771 00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:35,599 are all part of the process. 772 00:54:35,898 --> 00:54:40,438 Half the fun of learning about sex together is the practice. 773 00:54:59,546 --> 00:55:02,413 (Man) Sexual exploration can be very exciting, 774 00:55:02,549 --> 00:55:05,462 even without topping things off with an orgasm. 775 00:55:05,594 --> 00:55:10,054 But most people consider having the big '0' as a solid finale to sex. 776 00:55:10,307 --> 00:55:12,674 (Woman) Of course, making that happen for both partners 777 00:55:12,684 --> 00:55:14,891 can be more difficult than it sounds. 778 00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:20,814 Women who require more foreplay and greater stimulation during sex 779 00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:23,100 generally have more trouble reaching climax, 780 00:55:23,237 --> 00:55:25,899 particularly via intercourse. 781 00:55:44,341 --> 00:55:47,459 (Man) An erection is psycho-physiological magic 782 00:55:47,469 --> 00:55:51,087 and can't always be relied on to spring up on demand. 783 00:55:51,223 --> 00:55:54,432 This is when the woman should not blame him or herself, 784 00:55:54,518 --> 00:55:56,134 but take charge. 785 00:55:56,228 --> 00:56:01,064 Kissing, caressing and talking sexily can all help him firm things up. 786 00:56:01,316 --> 00:56:05,059 Or you can use your mouth more directly to spur things on. 787 00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:10,489 And, rather than panicking, 788 00:56:10,826 --> 00:56:12,908 the man should think sexy thoughts, 789 00:56:13,036 --> 00:56:16,495 perhaps using the fantasies that he revels in when he is alone. 790 00:56:16,623 --> 00:56:20,662 And he should remember there are multiple ways to satisfy his lover 791 00:56:20,752 --> 00:56:23,244 even if his penis won't play. 792 00:56:26,341 --> 00:56:29,003 (Woman) Accept this as a part of normal lovemaking, 793 00:56:29,136 --> 00:56:32,174 and an opportunity for more oral pleasuring. 794 00:56:32,306 --> 00:56:35,765 Stroking the perineum or stimulating the prostate gland 795 00:56:35,893 --> 00:56:40,433 if he's into that, can also bring things back on track in record time. 796 00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:49,770 (Man) If it's a condom related issue, 797 00:56:49,865 --> 00:56:54,200 then masturbating while wearing one will help him get used to the sensation. 798 00:56:54,286 --> 00:56:57,779 Not having safe sex, though, should not be an option, 799 00:56:57,956 --> 00:57:00,414 especially early in a relationship. 800 00:57:04,963 --> 00:57:07,580 Yet, however much effort it takes to get there, 801 00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:10,466 the result should be wonderfully worth it. 802 00:57:17,893 --> 00:57:22,308 (Woman) Female arousal is linked less to direct sensory output from the genitals 803 00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:26,436 and more to relaxation and lack of anxiety. 804 00:57:32,324 --> 00:57:35,191 Scans show that female orgasm produces activity 805 00:57:35,285 --> 00:57:38,823 across all brain regions that handle emotion. 806 00:57:38,914 --> 00:57:42,452 Letting go of fear and anxiety greatly increases the chance 807 00:57:42,584 --> 00:57:44,541 of reaching orgasm. 808 00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:49,501 Females need to take charge of their own pleasure. 809 00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,292 Don't be dependent on how good a lover he is, 810 00:57:52,386 --> 00:57:55,504 it's not his responsibility to give you an orgasm - 811 00:57:55,597 --> 00:57:58,430 you have to reach one for yourself. 812 00:57:58,558 --> 00:58:02,643 (Man) But a man can help enormously by giving a woman time. 813 00:58:02,646 --> 00:58:05,934 Engage in at least 20 minutes of foreplay. 814 00:58:06,024 --> 00:58:09,267 As the American sex researcher, Alfred Kinsey, showed, 815 00:58:09,277 --> 00:58:14,147 over 90% of women will reach their orgasm after this amount of time. 816 00:58:14,241 --> 00:58:17,029 (Woman) Link that with going for your orgasm first, 817 00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:21,620 get him to help you reach one with his hands, tongue or a vibrator. 818 00:58:21,790 --> 00:58:25,829 (Man) The "lady-comes-first" rule takes the pressure off both of you. 819 00:58:29,464 --> 00:58:33,048 (Woman) The two Fs for a more guaranteed orgasm are: 820 00:58:33,135 --> 00:58:35,627 Friction and Fantasy. 821 00:58:35,804 --> 00:58:38,466 You have a magic button that he doesn't have. 822 00:58:38,557 --> 00:58:41,094 The majority of women, when they masturbate, 823 00:58:41,226 --> 00:58:44,059 take between three and six minutes to climax, 824 00:58:44,146 --> 00:58:47,980 but it can take over 20 minutes with their partner in penetrative intercourse, 825 00:58:48,275 --> 00:58:50,266 if it happens at all. 826 00:58:51,611 --> 00:58:55,195 (Man) The second F is fantasize while you're having sex. 827 00:58:55,282 --> 00:58:57,899 Let your imagination go wild. 828 00:58:57,909 --> 00:59:02,278 The joy of fantasy is that there are no rules or regulations. 829 00:59:02,289 --> 00:59:05,498 Bring in some of the thoughts you have while you masturbate, 830 00:59:05,584 --> 00:59:08,326 let yourself visualize intensely. 831 00:59:08,336 --> 00:59:11,419 Your brain is the most powerful sex organ, 832 00:59:11,506 --> 00:59:14,544 use it to help you reach your climax. 833 00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:19,629 (Woman) During orgasm, the skin becomes more sensitive, 834 00:59:19,806 --> 00:59:22,673 the body requires more oxygen which speeds breathing, 835 00:59:22,851 --> 00:59:26,060 blood pressure rises, creating a pink flush in the cheeks, 836 00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:29,647 and the genitals pulse as the muscles contract. 837 00:59:29,941 --> 00:59:33,229 The genital region harbours a multitude of different nerves. 838 00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:35,436 The penis has a total of 6,000, 839 00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:38,314 but the clitoris has 8,000 nerves. 840 00:59:38,450 --> 00:59:42,489 The orgasmic sensation varies depending on the area touched. 841 00:59:45,624 --> 00:59:48,742 (Man) Some say a man's orgasm differs from a woman's 842 00:59:48,877 --> 00:59:51,460 or that a vaginal orgasm differs from a clitoral one 843 00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:54,372 because different sets of nerves are involved. 844 00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:58,843 The nerve that gives the orgasmic feeling sends messages to the brain, 845 00:59:59,137 --> 01:00:00,878 bypassing the spinal column 846 01:00:01,181 --> 01:00:06,597 which is what allows some paraplegic people to still feel sexual sensation. 847 01:00:06,686 --> 01:00:10,054 A collection of neurons called the nucleus accumbens, 848 01:00:10,148 --> 01:00:12,731 or colloquially "the brain's pleasure center", 849 01:00:12,901 --> 01:00:17,065 becomes highly active as a woman's orgasm approaches. 850 01:00:20,033 --> 01:00:22,866 (Woman) The part of the brain responsible for reward and empathy 851 01:00:23,161 --> 01:00:24,651 goes into high-alert mode, 852 01:00:24,746 --> 01:00:27,579 as does the one producing the hormone oxytocin, 853 01:00:27,582 --> 01:00:29,118 the bonding chemical. 854 01:00:31,753 --> 01:00:33,869 (Man) And so orgasm happens, 855 01:00:34,005 --> 01:00:38,215 and it seems to last significantly longer in women than in men. 856 01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:50,890 (Woman) When it comes to climaxing, every couple is different. 857 01:00:50,981 --> 01:00:53,643 You might enjoy mutual orgasms quite often, 858 01:00:53,650 --> 01:00:57,109 you may work each other up to a state of near-climax with words alone, 859 01:00:57,195 --> 01:01:00,938 or it could take all night and hours of foreplay. 860 01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:05,159 (Man) One or both of you may find it hard to climax from sex alone 861 01:01:05,162 --> 01:01:10,123 and need to reach conclusion with the help of fingers, tongues or toys. 862 01:01:10,292 --> 01:01:14,786 There is no right or wrong, only what makes you both feel good. 863 01:01:14,921 --> 01:01:19,085 And that's something you can only discover together. 864 01:01:37,611 --> 01:01:41,605 Although the penis and the vagina usually get all the attention, 865 01:01:41,740 --> 01:01:47,827 the truth is that your mouth is the most important part of any sexual relationship. 866 01:01:47,829 --> 01:01:50,742 And not just for kissing and oral sex. 867 01:01:50,957 --> 01:01:54,291 Using it for communication or sharing is the big key 868 01:01:54,377 --> 01:01:56,994 towards getting your needs met. 869 01:02:00,050 --> 01:02:02,963 (Woman) As relationships deepen, desires change. 870 01:02:03,261 --> 01:02:06,049 People evolve and issues arise. 871 01:02:06,348 --> 01:02:09,716 With open communication, lovers can effectively address 872 01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:12,513 all the twists and turns of a sexual partnership 873 01:02:12,646 --> 01:02:16,105 and grow together rather than drift apart. 874 01:02:21,571 --> 01:02:24,529 (Man) It is possible to go through all the motions of sex 875 01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:27,650 without allowing your emotions to get too involved. 876 01:02:27,744 --> 01:02:32,830 But surely the best sex is the kind that deepens intimacy and involvement. 877 01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:36,997 Being honest about everything, from your erotic fantasies 878 01:02:37,003 --> 01:02:39,085 to your life-long insecurities, 879 01:02:39,089 --> 01:02:43,549 builds the kind of rapport that a quick one-nighter could never match. 880 01:02:43,843 --> 01:02:46,130 (Woman) Even in the early stages of a relationship, 881 01:02:46,263 --> 01:02:49,506 honesty will help you develop a healthy, loving bond. 882 01:02:50,850 --> 01:02:52,887 (Man) And when things don't go as planned, 883 01:02:53,228 --> 01:02:56,812 or there's a droopy erection or a just-out-reach orgasm, 884 01:02:56,898 --> 01:03:00,232 it's talking about it that's going to help you survive the awkwardness 885 01:03:00,318 --> 01:03:02,855 and resolve the problem. 886 01:03:05,156 --> 01:03:09,491 (Woman) A healthy sex life helps produce a healthy psychological state. 887 01:03:09,577 --> 01:03:12,114 Beyond the joys of having first-rate orgasms, 888 01:03:12,289 --> 01:03:14,451 the hormones that get released during sex 889 01:03:14,541 --> 01:03:16,248 foster a sense of well-being 890 01:03:16,376 --> 01:03:21,371 and an increased desire to bond with the person lying next to you in bed. 891 01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:28,089 (Man) Sex offers the chance to become 892 01:03:28,179 --> 01:03:32,298 sexually, emotionally and spiritually fulfilled, 893 01:03:32,392 --> 01:03:34,599 and sharing intimacy with another 894 01:03:34,686 --> 01:03:38,554 actually allows us to better understand ourselves. 895 01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:44,442 (Woman) For many people leading busy lives, 896 01:03:44,571 --> 01:03:46,778 enriching their sex lives might just mean 897 01:03:46,906 --> 01:03:48,772 setting aside a few hours with their partner 898 01:03:48,908 --> 01:03:50,899 after the kids have gone to sleep, 899 01:03:50,994 --> 01:03:54,953 climbing into bed early and rekindling neglected desires. 900 01:03:59,627 --> 01:04:03,495 (Man) As if the pleasures of experiencing powerful orgasms 901 01:04:03,590 --> 01:04:06,958 and a lover's blissful cries weren't enough, 902 01:04:06,968 --> 01:04:11,508 good sex might actually help you prolong your life 903 01:04:11,598 --> 01:04:14,010 and that of the person you love. 904 01:04:21,524 --> 01:04:25,688 (Woman) With an incentive like that, why would anyone resist the allure 905 01:04:25,987 --> 01:04:31,573 of igniting desire and striving for the greatest sex of their lives?